Sometimes, I wish I still lived during the time before cell phones were invented. I remember my childhood vividly. It was awesome. We only got TV an hour a day, a little bit more if it was the weekend. We actually asked our parents’ permission before turning the TV on, and when the time was up, it had to be turned off. My mom was so committed to raising us, she watched our every move. I used to love how she greeted us in the mornings. Those warm hugs that made us feel so much love undistracted by phones, iPads or laptops -- we didn't have any of those. All we had was a standard PC that everyone had to take turns to use. We had to turn it off when we were done with it. We had a landline phone that I remember running to answer every time it rang.
That was it. We were actually living our lives; playing with the sand outside, going over to our grandma’s house in the evenings, getting soaking wet washing the cars, watering the plants, watching Umi (Mother) bake cakes. Our favorite was her original Victoria sponge with buttercream and peanuts. She made it a point to take us out every evening where we’d all play together. She would sit us at the balcony and tell us interesting stories, engaging us with each and every word she uttered. I remember her to reciting the Quran every night after the Maghrib prayer to which we’d fall asleep just listening to her calm tones as she’d recite. It's was beautiful, it was peaceful.
My father on the other hand, was firm, yet caring. He’d check our school bags and go through our books with us. He’d tell us what we did wrong and make us correct our mistakes even if our teachers didn’t ask us to. We’d actually play with him and he’d read to us. Nonetheless, the attention was pure. No distractions. They were great. I had the best childhood a daughter could ever have.
Now that I'm a parent myself, I try my best to be like my own parents. I want to treat my kids the way they treated me. I remember being treated that way and it was pure happiness. But as much as I try, there’s just too much distraction. Nowadays we have laptops, phones, what’s worse is this whole smartphone invention with Whatsapp and all these other useless apps that aim to take our attention away from the beauty of life itself. It’s crazy how our lives revolve around them. Sometimes I get so mad at myself for spending too much time on the phone, so I just toss it away angrily, asking myself, “What is wrong with me?!” Then I look at my daughter as she’s entertaining herself watching cartoons. I hate seeing her getting caught up watching things. But then when the phone beeps, I go back and reach for it to see what (or who) it was. It’s overwhelming how we tell our kids not to watch too much TV or not to play with the phone. But we do it and then we expect our children not to do what we do. Constantly.
When we get up from bed, we check our phones, after shower we check our phones, while eating we see if there’s something we can watch while we’re eating, before bed we check our phones again. What’s happening to our children at that moment? They're playing alone with their toys and are they really enjoying themselves? They tell us, "Mama, play with me!", what do we say? "Sorry, I have to clean the house" or "Wait, I'm on the phone". I see people telling their kids to shut up so they can watch or read the news when their child is grabbing their hand asking them "play with me, Dad!". I see people at the park pushing their kids on the swings but tapping away on their phones. And when their child talks to them, they respond with half-assed responses, like, "yeah?”, “really?”, “wow!". Do we really listen to everything our kids are trying to share with us? They try to get our attention, try their best to impress us so that maybe Mom will put down the phone and compliment me like she means it. And when they grow up we wonder why they don't pay attention to us. Let's just hope one day they don't chuck us in a nursing home, throw a super smartphone at us and say, "here spend time with this". ‘Cause honestly at this rate we deserve it. I don't want this anymore. I want to see my children grow properly, listen to everything they have to say and let them know they can talk to me, let them know they’re my priority.
To everyone who’s reading this and feel the same way that I do, here’s some advice: Turn off your laptops when you’re done with work. Put it away. Don't start watching another useless TV series. Pick up your phone for calls only. Messages can wait. Create a beautiful childhood for your kids before it’s too late. We can do this! Together, we can raise happier and contented children for a better future.
