I find myself asking this question far too often than I thought I would. What do i want in my life, right now?. Mostly when I feel a bit down and a little bit ungrateful at times, I'm ashamed to say. But i guess we've all been there. You know one of those days, when you wake up and just feel rubbish. And you feel like you're angry but you don't know why, and at who? How could I feel this way when there are so many people out there who would do anything to be in my shoes, and they are going through the day worrying for their safety and hungry. And I'm here waking up, in a house with the heater on all comfy, and I'm feeling sorry for myself. *slaps own face* take that! I promised myself that I would try my best not to allow myself to dwell into that feeling anymore. Because It wont only effect yourself, and ruined the rest of you day, it would effect people around you too, especially if you have kids. Be grateful for every little things you have. Because if Allah doesnt want you to have even a tiny speck of salt, you wont even have that! so be grateful. You have probably heard people saying this a lot " compare yourself to the less fortunate, to be grateful". We really should! do exactly that. I mostly feel like this because I don't feel like im contributing anything to the family, since im a full time mom, or doing anything to better myself. Even though my husband kept reminding me from time to time what a great job im doing with the kids. I should just stop feeling sorry for myself and just go get what I want, and whatever it is that makes me happy. And after thinking for sometime what I really want in life, I have decided on these few things. 1. I want to be closer to god, I really do. It gives me peace a calamity when I am. I need find time to increase my Ibadah( prayers)
2. I want to be a professional Interior designer. I've always wanted to be an architect, long story short it didn't work out. So I'm settling for something I can easily train myself and love doing.
3. Spend more time with my kids. We cant stop technology but with iPhones and wifi everywhere, its hard not to get lost in your own virtual world, when u stare at your phone constantly while your children calling you to get your attention.
4. Get fitter and stay fit. Recently I lost 15kg eating clean and working out. I want to loose another 10kg. and maintain the weight. Im happier when I'm not fat. I don't see why I cant do all this, no one is stopping me. Im just going to do it. If you feel unhappy too, ask yourself what do u really want? once you've figured it out, make a list and go get them! Do what makes you happy! Stop blaming other people for what you don't have, and stop giving excuses. Just do it.
